When a new relationship blooms, it’s easy to get lost in the romance and excitement of it all. However, too many women lose touch with reality and find themselves in disappointing or hurtful relationships. This occurs because they failed to pay attention to strategies for relationship success. Here are five of the most important tips to keep in mind to protect yourself and nurture your budding relationship.
1. Be aware of unresolved baggage. Emotional scars and wounds from your past can easily sabotage any new relationship. Take the time to identify unresolved feelings of anger, hurt, guilt and disappointment from the past and accept these feelings as lessons learned. It then becomes easier to move on.
2. Avoid “fairy-tale” thinking. It’s not your partner’s job to make you happy. It is your responsibility to love and value yourself when you enter a relationship. Dependency and neediness are not attractive qualities. It is also an illusion to assume any one person can meet all your needs or desires.
3. Start with friendship first. This level of comfort translates into a solid foundation for love to blossom and intimacy to develop. So be friends first before you open the door to the physical and emotional closeness that is so essential to a solid partnership.
4. Be sure your expectations are realistic. Are your demands about weight, age, height, financial success and other factors limiting your ability to find the right partner? Being flexible, objective and fair prevents us from setting ourselves up for the pain and disappointment of unrealistic expectations.
5. Communicate effectively by encouraging open, honest dialogue. In addition to your words, be attuned to your partner’s nonverbal cues and body language. Also be aware of your own cues that can trigger messages and unconscious signals to your partner.
If you keep this advice in mind you’ll be better prepared to recognize a winning relationship when it comes along without sabotaging yourself or your future happiness.
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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is a Dating & Relationship Coach and the co-author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! To receive a complimentary Tip Sheet along with a Tip of the Week which spans every facet of dating success — from preparing for your first date to determining whether your partner is a “keeper,” visit www.womendatingafter40.com.